It's okay to cry

At every turn the world calls us to perfection. Life is great and getting better, or we are overcoming an obstacle with style and perseverance. Like a jeweler sifting through diamonds we discard the flawed and discolored ones and display only those that glimmer with immaculate spectacle.

Yet even those who can maintain this facade indefinitely feel the lie eating at us from the inside. Life isn’t perfect, clean, and beautiful all the time. We all stumble, even the sure footed fall and are covered with the dirt of reality.

It’s okay to cry.

This is a lesson I’ve learnt slowly, and life has been an especially patient teacher with me this year. In the morning I would don my smile and face the day, while my true feelings lay trapped inside me howling to be free. I thought I was doing alright, at least most of the time. I pretended to laugh, to fit in, to show just how absolutely unflawed I was. Yet each crack of my smile drove another crack deep in my heart. My spirit wailed in pain as I heaped false pretenses on top of real sorrow.

This weekend I had a revelation. It’s okay to cry. Not just alone when noone is watching, but when I need to cry. The judge I should fear is not the condescending stares of my friends and coworkers, but the pitying whine of my dignity growing tired from juggling falsehoods.

As I cried, deep, heartfelt cries, I could feel the tears washing away all the masks I had created to protect me from the world. And it felt good to be authentic again!

Give yourself permission to cry.

Give yourself permission to break down, to let the smooth glass reflection of life crumble and expose the gentle and vulnerable human being inside. Sob hard, let the wrenching tears of your soul water the fertile soil of your spirit.

It is not in our perfection that we are beautiful, it is in our failings. It is the flaws, so wondrously woven into the tapestry of our existence where the heart beat of life resides.

Cry, knowing that within our greatest sorrow lie the seeds of happiness.

Even when we take a break from Hollywood, much of our waking life is spent being influenced by others. The pastor at your local church has a list of seven deadly sins and ten commandments. The kids at high school have a clear definition of success that includes the popular football player and perfectly proportioned cheer leading squad, leaving no socially acceptable room for the nerdy computer geek. Our teachers laud kudos on the academically excellent and above average “straight B students”, yet scorn the brilliant artist, mathematician or actor who dare to excel in only one area.

We’re taught to spend our energy on fitting in, on being accepted. Our life is spent living up to expectations, carefully shielding our uniqueness from the harsh glare of the world. Leaving our spirit trapped within us. And most of us leave this world having never lived.

“I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung.”  ~Tagore

The hardest part about being yourself, is that you no longer spend your time trying to be someone else. You see, imitating someone else is not just socially acceptable, but requires little mental or emotion effort. After all, you’re not inventing and discovering, you’re just copying.

Yet for all it’s challenges, there is nothing as sweet as accepting who you are and living your life every day. Our greatest gift to this world, to our friends and family, is to let our uniqueness shine through. Our strange quirks, heartfelt passions and hidden talents are what make us an invaluable part of creation.

So how do you make a difference in your life today? For the next week stop trying to be like everyone else and spend time discovering who you are.

Live the life you desire

The first goes something like this, ‘If I just had enough money, then I would finally be able to …’.  You then fill in the blank with whatever you think will make you happy. Whether it is a new car, a vacation to Europe, or just being able to pay the bills. The problem is, as soon as you achieve your goal you realize that it’s not quite all you wanted. So you get on the treadmill and start running – always striving for that little bit more. The sad truth is that even when you ‘arrive’ you realize that all the luxuries you can buy don’t make you happy.

The second misconception is, ‘As long as I have family and friends I don’t need anything else’. This line of reasoning appeals to us by assuaging our guilty materialistic feelings. We are so desperate to believe that there is more to life than money that we devalue it and latch on to relationships as the moral high ground of the human existence. There is a problem with this. Statistics show that the number one cause of divorce is financial disagreements. Trouble with money causes severe strain for couples and families, sometimes even wrecking the most precious relationships we have.

So if it’s not money, and it’s not relationships – just what is true wealth?

If you’re waiting for an easy answer you’re going to be disappointed. Wealth is a combination of many factors. It’s not about ‘maxing out’ any one attribute of wealth, but achieving harmonious balance between all of them.

In my next post I will discuss the attributes of a truly wealthy life.  Until then,

Live the life you desire

Yet through all the years of progress, have our lives really improved?
Most of us can now expect to live for 80 years, but is this existence more meaningful or more joyous than the short sojourn’s our ancestor’s had on this earth?

I believe without question that today we have more opportunity to impact to live a life of purpose than ever before in the history of mankind. Yet it saddens me that many let the opportunity slip through their fingers. They discount the wonderful blessings of our Creator, they take for granted the improvements won by the generation before and fade out into the dim memory of those who go on after them.

The good news is that no matter where you are today, now can be the moment you choose to become who you were meant to be.  To live a life full of joy, passion and purpose.

Join us on this journey…